Saturday, September 01, 2012
I was trying to decide on whether I needed to create a new blog as recommended by NIE to jot down all the little 'learning moments' when I stumbled upon this otherwise long forgotten blog.
On a night like this, reading all these old posts leaves me with a bittersweet feeling. So much has changed and happened since the days when we were all that innocent and young in school, learning together in the same classroom and supporting each other on. I always knew that these friends are special and irreplaceable but I don't think I've ever realized just how fortunate I am to have met this wonderful group of friends till much later. Till this day, I still look back to those days as one of the best periods in my life.
The years in Nanyang Girls' High School left us with more than just good grades and knowledge. Whenever I go for educational psychology class in NIE and learnt about potential issues that teenagers have to grapple with in the process of growing up, I am ever so thankful that I didn't have to go through that phase with a sense of dread and despair. I could just be who I am and feel accepted for being myself. I could excel in some areas and learn from my peers in others.
Despite all that I've gained from this precious group of friends, I know that I haven't done enough to show my appreciation and gratitude to them. Some of us have stayed closer together than the others. But that doesn't mean that we don't cherish all the memories and friendship we have forged with one another.
Because regardless of the path that we have chosen, I know we will all be there rooting for one another and be ready to be a pillar of support or a listening ear whenever one of us needs.
So, girls, if you ever get to stumble upon this blog again like I just did today, here's a huge thank you to each and every one of you. For everything you've done, for all the support, love and concern, for the memorable moments where we've laughed and learnt together, and just for being who you are. May recalling all those moments that we've had together light up your day and bring a smile to your face the way our memories do to me for many, many more years to come. :)
A Xinwei rainbow appeared at 11:41 PM***
Thursday, September 29, 2005
not in the best mood now. and it din juz start right now, it started ever before lessons ended.suddenly i feel so tied down, so suffocated i seem to lose faith in myself. it's as though i cant live as freely as i always wanted to. of cos tat doesnt mean i look forward to a life with all chaos and 'last minute'. i dun like those too, if u know me well enough, u will notice how much i hate being disorganised.i dun deny i restrict myself many a times, sometimes due to my own principles, sometimes to save the 'face' of others. juz like playing solitaire, i hate to be tied down by other factors tat bring down my own ability. i could have said many things straight in their faces, i could have gone back to what i was in lower secondary, but i did not.it's tempting. i know the other gifts i have to make my life very much easier at times. sometimes, i look at pple like miss L and i envy her. she may be aloof and anti-social, but with it comes the reward too. no burden, no worries, no fluctuations in emotions.but i dun want it too. i never believe in one-man island. it irritates me. it's good to be matured and sensitive, it's a heavy job when people ard u dun do it. i understand good humour, but i HATE it when people misuse this humour to vent their own frustrations on me, or abuse the situation to make themselves feel happier at the expense of others.it's tiring to stay angry or unhappy with anyone for a long time. but it's a pity, i feel sorry for those people. i tend to form conclusions abt a person from his or her actions and behaviour. bcos of a big flair in them, other equally big good things abt them are all forgotten. sounds cruel but this is reality.i'm sorry that u have degraded urself from a fren to an ordinary person with lower than normal EQ and status, become someone i despise.i can probably expect many pple asking me if tat person is them, or who exactly is tat person. but does it matter?wat matters is tat we dun be like tat after this entry, isn't it?AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!now tat makes me feel better.
A Xinwei rainbow appeared at 6:30 PM***
Monday, September 26, 2005
i juz read one of daphne's previous blog and had this urge to also blog my opinions on her topic. she mentioned abt how superficial man can be at times, when looks and certificates matter more than a person's real character and values. i dun deny the fact tat this is happening in our society. it's true tat many people nowadays take these things into serious consideration when judging a person, many a times allowing these criteria to take over more important ones.but look on the bright side, if there are people who judge and conclude abt a person so firmly juz bcos he or she dun look so good, how important can these people mean to u? why bother to get angry or frustrated with wat these people do? instead, if these immature people dun exist, there wont be a balance in society. it's juz like sacking all the police in the world bcos there aint any more criminals. furthermore, it's often our own mentality tat gives us the extra unneeded, unnecessary and useless stress. it can come as a motivation but when other people's desperate attempts tend to be noticed too easily and we take those actions too seriously, it could also b a hint to us. to show us tat we ourselves cld have been equally superficial and judge with grades or looks, tat we ourselves cld have also been too concerned over grades and looks, tat we cld have also been drugged with the thinking tat we have to prove ourselves with grades or looks.sounds silly rite? but the weirdest thing always turn out to be the truest and most honset answer.i tend to believe tat everyone in the world exist for a purpose. so why not make the world a better one in our own capacity as the younger generation? juz like wat many other students also think, our education system seems to put too much emphasis on studies. it's either u are smart and clever or stupid and average. it decides ur future to a large extent. but if we are juz gg to continue with our complaints and grumblings during our small talks, nothing much is gg to change. maybe it's juz me who is more proactive and confrontational. i rather aspire to be a teacher and slowly make a difference. it may be small but if everyone makes an effort, the generations after us will only stand to gain.i dun want to live in a fantasy world but i never think of reality as being superficial. it may be cruel at times, but any time better than living in some wonderland. living in harsh conditions helps to stimulate our social skills and thinking skills. i dun wanna degrade to a person whose brains aint of any value but take ignorance as happiness. Dreams can come true, everyday. Now it’s your turn to dream. Just look deep in your heart, look to the sky, and make a wish. And maybe, if you believe, your wish can come true.wish really hard and miracles do happen. but in the meantime we had better rmb this period of emotions really deeply in our hearts so tat we dun impose unnecessary stress and pressure on our children in future.:)
A Xinwei rainbow appeared at 7:10 PM***
Friday, September 23, 2005
I bet everyone missed my blog entries. Heheh. Dun try to deny it.
Prelim exams finally came to an end. So in order to celebrate the brief period for us to rest, we all went to JUNNIE’s house to play! Everyone was so loserish lar (of cos it included me). Play one mahjong game also can expose the underlying loserism spirit in everyone. Hehe. And june tan the stupid fat pig was the worst lar!!! While playing or eating (I cant rmB), she actually exclaimed tat weiwei rhythms with feifei (fatty) and decided to call me fei wei!!!! Liew.. how can she do this to me lar?!!??!?! I merely suffer from CBS (chubby arms symptom) and currently seems to be traveling towards the fatty side but I ‘m NOT fat YET!!!!.. argh. I nearly wanted to whack her.. hehe.. but I decided not to in the end, it wld only dirty my hands.
Okie, maybe I shldnt be so happy since we juz got back our ss, English and a maths papers today. It was totally a blow after another. Shan’t talk abt the results anymore. But frm today, I juz learnt something or rather understand myself even more now. I noe I always like to be in control yet at the same time, not bonded by too many restrictions. Call me weird or anything, but I realized that the more people around dun put extra stress and pressure on me to follow rules, the more I will do so. On the contrary, the more they want me to follow, the more I will rebel and say “NO!”. weird. I find myself weird too.
I used to be quite selfish, never failing to be confused over why my parents and teachers shld get upset over my results if I dun do well. Maybe it’s jus the way society works. Becos we all dun live on a one-man island, we all haf obligations and people to account to. It could be pressurizing but also motivating for us at times. I want to get into my ideal jc, my mother also hopes (very hard) for it to really come true. I may not show it to her, but I do care abt her views on me too.
But no matter wat, I guess the bottomline is to be grateful to what life really throws to us. If I really cannot get into a good jc, it could be a signal for me to work harder. Wat really matters is what I really accomplish when I step out into the society, whether or not I make a difference for the people I care and my country and the world.
Most importantly, it’s time to change the blogskin. Really time to change. Hehe.. :P
A Xinwei rainbow appeared at 5:09 PM***
Friday, September 02, 2005
okie. warning! this aint going to be any pretty chapters that are light-hearted and all. it's going to be a rude awakening for U.
if this is going to be such a rude way of expressing my views, it's your actions and behaviour that disgust me in the first place. AND I REALLY MEAN IT.
i dont understand. juz a few days ago, i got into an argument with my sister. frankly speaking i was also partly wrong for losing my temper but who is perfect? at least i attempt to reach it. something tat seems small may carry a lot of words about a person's character. like my nick, if you think you have driven someone away once, dun be surprised if you noticed i am next.
GEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
luckily i solved the thing with my sister. although it was difficult at first, i was really proud of her for understanding the true theory behind every subtle action. san si er hou xing. our ancestors did not make tat up merely for the fun of it. even till today, the greatest heros start from the smallest things. it's not juz me, maybe more frens around me may be encountering similar situations whereby they meet people with such dense brains, they can never detect anything. sensitivity juz dun come in the whole package.
i told eunice that no one can be flawless if not the universal God or whoever may even b jealous of us. haha. even if he/she does not, other people wld. but tat is not a valid reason for us to go ard hurting others without knowing and then pretend nothing happened.
it does not mean that juz bcos the thing is small, you can take it as nothing happened. ur expression and actions i will always remember. and i despise tat character. juz stay further away from me.
it does not mean tat juz bcos u are in control of that particular thing, you can take the better share for youself. if you really think tat way, you are not much of a difference from miss L.in short, your character suck. juz because i am big-hearted enough to give way to people around me, doesnt mean you can take advantage of it. dun force me show the other side of me.
and if you dont have any idea tat it's you, you have juz officially wasted sixteen years of your life. others could have led a better and more meaningful life in your shoes. i think you've got me really angry so you better watch what you do. cos you can be pretty sure i wont be as tolerant as before.
all these for one simple reason, you dont deserve it. and trust me, you REALLy don't.
A Xinwei rainbow appeared at 1:01 PM***
Thursday, August 25, 2005
okie i know this sounds stupid. but i ren wu ke ren already!!!
i haf confirmed that i HATE three pple currently:
1. miss L
2. miss V
3. miss P.
irritating pests!!!! get lost.:(
A Xinwei rainbow appeared at 6:51 PM***
Friday, August 12, 2005
BoO!! haha.. feeling really corny now.
i had english oral today. goodness me. i was so much more nervous than normal i actually kinda 'stumbled' over my words! on top of that, i even pondered and paused for quite a while after listening to the teacher's question. O LEVELS .. oh no.. i suddenly feel the distance between me and my A1 for english getting further and further. sigh. but it's okie. i guess i can still TRY to pull my grades up by doing well for the paper one and two.
and guess what? tat's coming so soon, i am so scared..:(.. in probably another two to three weeks' time only. orh yar. and before that i got triple sciences practicals too. i am most worried abt my bio practical. juz imagine all the kinds of tough questions!! i wanna faint already. i think i may even haf to stare at the drawing of some stupid peanut again before the exam to remember where to draw the radicle and where to draw the plummule. or at least try to spell them correctly.
today, k. tan suaned us again lar. geog lesson, he was saying dunnoe wat four eleven pple so good, most of them did their stupid geog journal already. unlike US, who complain so much when the thing is for ourown good. hello!!!!! yoyo mister!! like when did we really complain in ur face? such a painful torture to go for his lessons lar. and he actually thought a few mcq on coastal was enough to take up a whole half an hour. he muz live in a whole different world from the rest of us where time goes tick tick tick by the second. pain in the neck.
yay! happy news is that i dun need to run the crosss country thing!!! haha. not like i was going to run in the first place. but at least this time, i dun even need to walk through those forests and enjoy free mozzie bites. hehe. jealous rite? i noe i noe. it's okie. haha. juz support us by buying stuff from the sec 4s k? we've got to raise another one thousand dollars at least i think for the grad nite. bcos if we dun reach the target, there wont b any music or stuff on that nite. how can it get any fun that way? so please support us in any way possible! hehe..
tat's it i guess. so sleepy. i shall sleep earlier tonite and study tml! haha.. and do more stupid physics apers again!!!!. save me. potato chan keeps giving us more and more mcq to do lar. gosh.... if i dun get my A 1 in physics, i ought to reflect and apologise to the countless trees that we killed to do those paper 1s on.
haha..:) nitez..
A Xinwei rainbow appeared at 11:07 PM***
